Poems

This day 24 years ago
You left me and disappeared
Not a day has passed that I’ve not cried for you
Each year, this day I fear

It reminds me that time moves on without you
Creating oceans of time I cannot cross
That you stay the same as I get older
Grieving my treasured child’s loss

It still feels like only yesterday
That I waited and waited all night
For you to walk through the door and see me
And say “hi mum, I’m home and goodnight”

But you never came and I waited still
Seven long days with no word from you
I searched for you everywhere my son
I didn’t know what else to do

In bins, in buildings, in darks corners and more
I thought I’d find you hurt but still taking breath
But since that day 24 long years ago
My life has been consumed by your death

The one place I couldn’t search my son
Was below the deep water, dark and suffocating
I passed that spot so many times
Little knowing you lay there, patiently Waiting

They didn’t care how long you’d lain there
They didn’t care that you had tried
To come back home and return to me
To simply breathe and stay alive

They wrote you off as one more black youth
Didn’t care what had really happened to you
Those racist thugs had seen only your colour
They didn’t see you my Ricky, they didn’t see you

And the people who were supposed to help us
Find answers and find the truth
They didn’t care and wanted me to stay silent
They didn’t seek facts, answers or proof

They wanted me to go away and be quiet
Forget what happened to my son
They wanted me to ask no
questions
They wanted me to make no noise

No, not me, I’m here to question till the end
I’m here to ask why, when, by whose hand?
I won’t go away Mr Police officer, I won’t go away
My sons life is worth more than you’ll ever understand

Now my heart has grown as cold as that water
That covered you for seven long days
But I will not rest till justice is done
Not me, I am not going away

21.10.21. Sukhdev Reel. ©

Unable to protect my son. I am sorry my son.

Eyes closed tightly and lying so still
My screens for you to open them had no effect
How did you get there please tell me my son
I am sorry I could not protect you from your killers

Long arms of law ignored my pleas for help
Because Your colour was brown and not white
Another Asian man forced into marriage they said
Then they said unknown to me my son maybe gay

The ground beneath my feet started to move
What a pity it did not swallow me
But I made you a promise to find your killers
Without justice there is no peace

Long nights and my pillow drinks my tears
The racist killers and the police in my eyes are the same
Had they wanted to the killers would be behind bars now
But the authorities gave them licence to kill again

What do I have to do to prove
That my Ricky deserves justice like everyone else
Ignore my colour and treat me as a human being
Because underneath my blood is also red

21.10.21. Sukhdev Reel. ©

Broken heart. How many pieces?

I gathered the broken pieces
And tried to glue them one by one
Once or twice it pricked my fingers
My eyes are longing to see my son

I tried to mend my broken heart Time does not heal the pain
The cracks are still visible
Still seeking justice raising my voice again and again

Gathering pieces. Sukhdev Reel. ©

Praying for you

Once more the date has arrived
I gave you birth and life was good
I wish you a happy birthday my son
I will try to hide my tears and pain

Memories keep on flooding one after another
Some good some full of regrets
I wish you could return today
And cut your birthday cake with your family.

Another birthday. No hug.

Sukhdev Reel. ©

Hoping for a miracle

Life stuck with yesterday’s
But there are tomorrows as well
Heart pulling me backwards
But mind says it is too painful so do not dwell.

Yesterdays are too painful
With breath struck in my throat
Remind me of what I have lost
I need your arms instead of my coat

Tomorrows are still hopeful
Maybe someone will finally speak
Tell me who killed him and why
Years of silence will finally break

Sukhdev Reel. ©

Sending you away.

Walked the streets of Kingston my son
Day and night everyday
Looked for you everywhere dear Ricky
Where are you I asked myself everyday

7 days later you returned to us
Unable to breathe or say hi
In a wooden box you left again
Heart breaking but with dignity I said good bye

Helpless mum

Sukhdev Reel. ©

Legacy for Ricky. Better society.

The name of Ricky reel never will be forgotten
You are a shining star in the sky
I am proud of you but still miss you
Hug your memories but still ask why oh why

Your siblings miss you too my son
Your dad’s eyes still glued to the door
So many questions in our minds
Your death is still painful and raw

We will not give up or let you down
We will stand together, a united community
So that this never happens again my son
Doesn’t tear apart another family

Sukhdev Reel. ©

My wonderful brother. I miss you.

Clouds are everywhere
I dare not lift my head
A year later my terror has returned
And I hear again what the doctor said

You were a rock that shielded me
And listened to all my worries
Smiled and said my luck will change
And gave me a reason to carry on

You were there when my world came apart
Hugged me and let me cry out my pain
Told me justice will be delivered
Gave me a reason to smile again

I Spent hours talking to you
My children were your world
You wanted to know about their achievements
Had their photos placed
In your room

You always sensed when I was down
Even though I always pretended to be fine
Your eyes would look at me
They were full of compassion and would shine
You also tried to hide your sorrow
But showered us with your strength and love
You encouraged us to stand on our feet
Hugged me when I felt alone

If I go near your house now
I do not have the heart to go inside
Because my eyes will be looking for you
You will not be there sitting inside

Sukhdev Reel. ©

Kismet.

I stood up and looked at myself
Laughter and many tragedies too
Nobody can change my kismet
The lines on my forehead tell the clue

Life was happy full of laughter
I thought I had everything
My children were my world
They were my life and strength

One day cruel hands took life
They killed Ricky my darling
son
So far Justice has been far from reach
Some heartless people killed my son just for fun

Instead of trying to find your killers
The police my son started spying on us
We want answers and our files
They think we are making a lot of fuss

Instead of giving us justice
And investigating your murder
They recorded all our movements
I once again have to climb all the difficult hurdles
To get the answers I relive the nightmares

Fighting nightmares.

Sukhdev Reel. ©

Shine a light on the Truth by Manjit Sahota (October 2021)

Racism and the river took Ricky
But he’s buried under the police and the state
They say don’t dig up the past, they say let history just lie!
But we will not rest, so shine a light for Ricky
Shine a light so we can find the truth.
Because we asked for assistance, the police gave us bigotry and
surveillance
You see they want our silence and not our anger
They want our compliance and not our resistance
They want our polite acceptance and not our rage,
They want their Law and order; we want our justice!
Yes, Racism and the river took Ricky
But he’s buried under the police and the state
Now the SDS spied and lied, that’s when you know the force is
against you.
We’ve seen it before, so many times, buried under the lies is the
truth
Yes, Racism and the river took Ricky
But he’s buried under the police and the state
So, look into our eyes and what do you see?
I don’t see victims, I see fighters
I see the Black Star rising, a memory of our youth and resistance
I see Jayaben Desai and the ‘strikers in Saris’ at Grunwick, Gurdwara
collections for miners
Black and white fists against hate, I see Sukhdev Reel, fighting for
Justice

That’s why when we march on the streets, we are not alone, in our
hearts we will always carry
Gurdip Singh Chagger, Blair Peach, Stephen Lawrence, Ricky Reel and
All the victims of racism and the police.
Now, we don’t want your silence, we want your noise, we want your
voice, we want your rage
So, shine a light, shine a light on the truth for Ricky Reel
And say his name…. Ricky Reel. Say his name, Ricky Reel, Say his
name…

1. Restlessness

Days filled with frustration
Restlessness and anger too
How do I go through this long day
Every moment is filled with memories of you

Fate playing with my emotions
Send me messages of hope
Then suddenly comes the dead end again
Emotions crash and sobs choke

How long does this last
I ask this everyday
Is there an end to loneliness and grief
Or is this here forever to stay

Where have I gone and what have I become
Is a question I ask myself everyday
To laugh, sing and play with my family
Became a dream maybe I will fill one day

Crying and wounded I was thrown aside
A body existed and the soul flew away
Silence is not an option became my voice
Please read how I existed day by day

A mother died because she had no choice
An activist, campaigner, many more hats I wore
Ricky Reel: Silence Is Not An Option became my voice
I need to get justice for Ricky so please someone open the door

Blood oozing out of my heart
Eyes raining painful tears which I try to hide
I wrote Ricky Reel – Silence Is Not An Option
To answer endless questions people ask me day and night

Please read my story then you will know
Why I continue with my struggle for justice
Which so far has evaded me
For which I have put my life on hold

Ricky died and I lost my identity
Different labels placed on my head
I wrote Ricky Reel – Silence Is Not An Option
And my friends I ask why is my son dead.

Looking everywhere to see your face
I can’t see you then ask to hear your voice
Come and embrace me please today on Mothers Day
Ricky I can only dream as I have no other choice.

Happy Womens Day

Babies who played in my lap
Grew into young ladies today
Where did the time go I wonder
It felt I only gave birth yesterday

Happy Womens Day to all the ladies
Babies, Young and old
Be strong, compassionate and stay safe
You are loved everyday I hope you are all told.

Remembering you is so easy
Because you never went away
I feel your presence with me all the time
Though many obstacles were placed in my way

Your twinkling eyes encouraged me to carry on
Helped me stand up again
When I am lying on the floor
When my body is full of grief and pain

Every breath I take my son
Gives me hope that I can achieve my goal
Then I may close my eyes forever
Maybe then peace will enter my soul

On 11.7.1977 I brought you to this world
Seeing your smiling face and clutching my hand
You gave me so much love and joy
Why I lost you on 21.10.1997 I fail to understand

Why was your life so brief my darling
I fail to find much needed answers my son
Your mum also died with you my
sweetheart
My heart will always be with you my son

Poem by Robert Punton

Judgement on Justice

Have we lost sight of justice?
What does real justice look like
What does true justice taste like
What does full justice feel like

Is justice handed down by learned lettered lawyers
In horsehair wigs and flowing gowns from on high
Or delivered from twelve true and honest citizens
Sitting in a jury room after considering all the evidence
Is justice in the head, heart, and hands of the victim

I think not

Is it carried out when the sentence is carried out
Written down the legal ledgers recorded for posterity
Is justice found in the crowded streets or the hallowed halls

Just justice treat the victim and accused equally
Or are the scales of justice tilted and unbalanced
The more I seek out answers, the more questions I uncover

Can someone help me discover
The ultimate judgement on justice

Making it Reel

From the moment I heard on that stage
Telling your story through a veil of tears

My heart went out to you

I know I must do everything in my power
Use my energy, time, and words to amplify your tale

I pledge in this poem, upon this page
To work to bring about justice for Ricky
We cannot bring your son back to life
We cannot give you back your lost years
We can ensure that Ricky’s legacy
Is that no other mother must go through
the same horror your family endured

The police must be brought to account for their role

They should be there to assist not resist
To bring the criminals to account in the courts
Not spy upon the victim’s loved ones
Sukhdev Reel you are an inspirational woman

A caring and loving mother

A strong brave warrior, a modern day Boudica
Placed in the spotlight you did not ask for
Let us make justice real for the Reel’s
Finally give them a tiny degree of peace of mind