This day 24 years ago
You left me and disappeared
Not a day has passed that I’ve not cried for you
Each year, this day I fear
It reminds me that time moves on without you
Creating oceans of time I cannot cross
That you stay the same as I get older
Grieving my treasured child’s loss
It still feels like only yesterday
That I waited and waited all night
For you to walk through the door and see me
And say “hi mum, I’m home and goodnight”
But you never came and I waited still
Seven long days with no word from you
I searched for you everywhere my son
I didn’t know what else to do
In bins, in buildings, in darks corners and more
I thought I’d find you hurt but still taking breath
But since that day 24 long years ago
My life has been consumed by your death
The one place I couldn’t search my son
Was below the deep water, dark and suffocating
I passed that spot so many times
Little knowing you lay there, patiently Waiting
They didn’t care how long you’d lain there
They didn’t care that you had tried
To come back home and return to me
To simply breathe and stay alive
They wrote you off as one more black youth
Didn’t care what had really happened to you
Those racist thugs had seen only your colour
They didn’t see you my Ricky, they didn’t see you
And the people who were supposed to help us
Find answers and find the truth
They didn’t care and wanted me to stay silent
They didn’t seek facts, answers or proof
They wanted me to go away and be quiet
Forget what happened to my son
They wanted me to ask no
questions
They wanted me to make no noise
No, not me, I’m here to question till the end
I’m here to ask why, when, by whose hand?
I won’t go away Mr Police officer, I won’t go away
My sons life is worth more than you’ll ever understand
Now my heart has grown as cold as that water
That covered you for seven long days
But I will not rest till justice is done
Not me, I am not going away
21.10.21. Sukhdev Reel. ©
Unable to protect my son. I am sorry my son.
Eyes closed tightly and lying so still
My screens for you to open them had no effect
How did you get there please tell me my son
I am sorry I could not protect you from your killers
Long arms of law ignored my pleas for help
Because Your colour was brown and not white
Another Asian man forced into marriage they said
Then they said unknown to me my son maybe gay
The ground beneath my feet started to move
What a pity it did not swallow me
But I made you a promise to find your killers
Without justice there is no peace
Long nights and my pillow drinks my tears
The racist killers and the police in my eyes are the same
Had they wanted to the killers would be behind bars now
But the authorities gave them licence to kill again
What do I have to do to prove
That my Ricky deserves justice like everyone else
Ignore my colour and treat me as a human being
Because underneath my blood is also red
21.10.21. Sukhdev Reel. ©
Broken heart. How many pieces?
I gathered the broken pieces
And tried to glue them one by one
Once or twice it pricked my fingers
My eyes are longing to see my son
I tried to mend my broken heart Time does not heal the pain
The cracks are still visible
Still seeking justice raising my voice again and again
Gathering pieces. Sukhdev Reel. ©
Praying for you
Once more the date has arrived
I gave you birth and life was good
I wish you a happy birthday my son
I will try to hide my tears and pain
Memories keep on flooding one after another
Some good some full of regrets
I wish you could return today
And cut your birthday cake with your family.
Another birthday. No hug.
Sukhdev Reel. ©
Hoping for a miracle
Life stuck with yesterday’s
But there are tomorrows as well
Heart pulling me backwards
But mind says it is too painful so do not dwell.
Yesterdays are too painful
With breath struck in my throat
Remind me of what I have lost
I need your arms instead of my coat
Tomorrows are still hopeful
Maybe someone will finally speak
Tell me who killed him and why
Years of silence will finally break
Sukhdev Reel. ©
Sending you away.
Walked the streets of Kingston my son
Day and night everyday
Looked for you everywhere dear Ricky
Where are you I asked myself everyday
7 days later you returned to us
Unable to breathe or say hi
In a wooden box you left again
Heart breaking but with dignity I said good bye
Helpless mum
Sukhdev Reel. ©
Legacy for Ricky. Better society.
The name of Ricky reel never will be forgotten
You are a shining star in the sky
I am proud of you but still miss you
Hug your memories but still ask why oh why
Your siblings miss you too my son
Your dad’s eyes still glued to the door
So many questions in our minds
Your death is still painful and raw
We will not give up or let you down
We will stand together, a united community
So that this never happens again my son
Doesn’t tear apart another family
Sukhdev Reel. ©
My wonderful brother. I miss you.
Clouds are everywhere
I dare not lift my head
A year later my terror has returned
And I hear again what the doctor said
You were a rock that shielded me
And listened to all my worries
Smiled and said my luck will change
And gave me a reason to carry on
You were there when my world came apart
Hugged me and let me cry out my pain
Told me justice will be delivered
Gave me a reason to smile again
I Spent hours talking to you
My children were your world
You wanted to know about their achievements
Had their photos placed
In your room
You always sensed when I was down
Even though I always pretended to be fine
Your eyes would look at me
They were full of compassion and would shine
You also tried to hide your sorrow
But showered us with your strength and love
You encouraged us to stand on our feet
Hugged me when I felt alone
If I go near your house now
I do not have the heart to go inside
Because my eyes will be looking for you
You will not be there sitting inside
Sukhdev Reel. ©
Kismet.
I stood up and looked at myself
Laughter and many tragedies too
Nobody can change my kismet
The lines on my forehead tell the clue
Life was happy full of laughter
I thought I had everything
My children were my world
They were my life and strength
One day cruel hands took life
They killed Ricky my darling
son
So far Justice has been far from reach
Some heartless people killed my son just for fun
Instead of trying to find your killers
The police my son started spying on us
We want answers and our files
They think we are making a lot of fuss
Instead of giving us justice
And investigating your murder
They recorded all our movements
I once again have to climb all the difficult hurdles
To get the answers I relive the nightmares
Fighting nightmares.
Sukhdev Reel. ©
Justice For Ricky Reel 